Jerk

You know? I can be a real jerk sometimes.... I dont even mean to be.... Why is it that I try to hurt everyone that is close to me? I know why and I just realized it today... I have trust issues.... I cant trust anyone because I think they are going to hurt me... so instead I hurt them first.... I'm such a jerk... I dont even want to be it just happens...
It doesnt help that my Monthly woman issue has happened TWICE in one month and so that is making me very crabby... I really want to apologize but I cant.... They would just pretend nothing happened anyway.... and they would say "I wasnt mad at you, I didnt think you did anything wrong" GEEZE!!!! WILL YOU JUST ADMIT I HURT YOUR FEELINGS AND ACCEPT MY APOLOGY SO I DONT FEEL SO BAD? Nope no can do, Of course you have to be a guy and pretend like nothing ever hurts your feelings...